The opposite of a hero is not a villain, it's a bystander. Heroes are rare because it is so easy to be a bystander. Most of the heroes we hear about have chosen action over inaction in a dramatic situation. The news outlets love a story involving raging rivers, burning houses, and sinking ships. Unfortunately this is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to heroic action. Heroism happens every day all around us — and sometimes to us or by us.
Most heroism is performed by ordinary people in ordinary situations. However, heroism is anything but ordinary. When confronted with a situation that calls for a hero, most people refuse the call. There are a myriad of reasons for this, many of them explained by the Bystander Effect. There might be a discomfort in rocking the social boat.
Take discrimination.
Treating someone poorly because they are different is a common, but abhorrent behavior. It is allowed to be common because so few people stand up to it. Sure, there are court cases to sue against discrimination in the workplace and there are loud and visible campaigns to combat it in general life. However, in small groups, one rarely sees a hero combatting discriminatory acts.
In most circles, there is a stigma attached to racism — a form a discrimination. In most circles, it simply does not show its head. Due to this stigma, calling out someone's racist commentary or actions rarely rocks the boat. The social risk is reduced because you can be sure someone will back you up.
If only it was social suicide to discriminate against redheads, homosexuals, or atheists. Many people around the world suffer from discrimination because they are different. And because there are not enough heroes — that is, there are too many bystanders. Too many people worried about their social capital. Will they upset their friend? Will they be targeted next?
Your reaction to discrimination, whether it be through words or actions, is of vital importance to those around you. To help you take the heroic route, consider the following questions, aimed at reducing the pressure to stay silent:
- What terms, behaviors, or phrases do I use that are discriminatory?
- What terms, behaviors, or phrases do my friends and colleagues use that are discriminatory?
- Do I know someone that has stood up to discrimination? What did they do? How did others respond?
- What have I seen on TV (ads or programs) that is discriminatory?
- Do I belong to an organization that discriminates?
- Do I vote for a politician that is openly discriminatory?
In asking these questions, follow them through to the end. Ask yourself why. Ask yourself what you could have done. Ask yourself what you could do next time. In doing so, you will be preparing yourself for heroism.
There's no better pursuit than that.
The Hero Construction Company builds heroes in K-12 schools. Through a series of in-classroom presentations, students are taught the basics of heroism and given practical advice on how to live heroically. Contact Matt to build heroes at your local school.
