"I have been in a situation where I wanted people to speak up for me,
and I felt like everyone around me,they were being bystanders.
So it was really hard for me to look around and be like why isn't
anyonestanding up or doing anything for me or like why are they so
afraid to speak their mind?"
— Jessie from the RESPONSE ABILITY video
Most students in clubs, student government, fraternities and sororities, or on athletic teams would probably agree that the majority of their group members are responsible, hard-working students and that their organizations contribute positively to their campuses and communities. At the same time they would also probably tell you that sometimes their organizations are unfairly stereotyped or receive an undeserved reputation and that much of the good they do is overlooked. If this is true, what can we do about it? How much of our reputation is deserved and to what extent can we have control over how others see us?
My own experience with student organizations — fraternities, sororities, athletics, clubs, bands, student governments, etc. — on hundreds of college and university campuses confirms my belief that the overwhelming majority of students are good citizens who care about their peers and act in responsible and healthy ways. This belief is confirmed by data from national and individual campus studies. Why then the lack of appreciation and negative reputation?
When our organizations do not receive appreciation for their good work, or are seen negatively in an unfair way, it is usually due to the very public and very problematic behavior of a minority of members. This minority of men and/or women visibly misbehave, leading others to judge our organizations in a way that is unfair to the silent majority. Can we do anything about this? The answer is yes — we can improve our reputations and also make our organizational culture more positive and healthy by responding differently to the members who create a negative perception. In other words, we can stop being bystanders — stop "standing by" — and instead find ways to respond and intervene that are responsible, respectful, and consistent with the values and traditions of of our group. In other words, we can "transform our values into action" by accepting our responsibility to learn "response ability."
This blog post will provide a brief outline of bystander behavior and some of the barriers to overcome it and introduce an important resource to help college students do the right thing — a DVD package titled, "RESPONSE ABILITY: Transforming Values into Action," for which I am the expert consultant. RESPONSE ABILITY features a group of men and women students discussing bystander behavior and inspiring each other to do the right thing, along with a demonstration of role plays led by myself and includes a small book titled "The Complete Guide to Bystander Intervention." While some of the examples focus on the Greek community, the majority of the discussion is more general and would be applicable to other student groups..
Let's consider the following example about a male student:
When Tom has had too much to drink he is obnoxious to women. This usually happens when he and his friends go out drinking. While they disapprove of his behavior, no one does anything to stop it, and some think it is humorous and tease him. What they overlook is what others say about their group as a result of Tom's actions. This contributes to a negative reputation. In short, the "silent majority" allows one individual to generate negative publicity for all.
If you ask members if they have anyone like Tom in their group, they may smile and you can almost see the names appearing in their mind. If you ask men if there is anyone on their team, in their club, in their residence hall, or in their chapter who is prone to take advantage of women sexually, behave irresponsibly when drunk, cause damage to property, or engage in a destructive prank, one or more names usually come to mind. We could think of similar examples for women — someone with an eating problem, a woman who behaves seductively and wild when drunk, or someone who engages in malicious gossip, etc.
A similar argument could be made about initiation and hazing rituals, negative publicity from t-shirts and flyers that objectify women and other groups, irresponsible public behavior, etc. Each one of us can think of our own examples. Unfortunately, there are many examples even though they are not representative of the majority of students.
These examples may not pertain to all groups and situations, and perhaps the examples are somewhat stereotypical. Yet the pattern itself is generic. When a group has a negative reputation it is usually due to the problematic behavior of a minority of members — whatever the behavior, whatever the reaction — and is not representative of the group as a whole. I believe that 90% of a bad reputation could be eliminated by responding effectively to problem behavior. This would help others see us accurately as caring and constructive community members and eliminate the negative advertising that undermines the good work that we do.
Acting on such concerns is not easy and there are many challenges. The RESPONSE ABILITY DVD shows college women and men discussing each of these challenges. Most people want to respond but may not do so for five reasons: social influence, audience inhibition, diffusion of responsibility, fear of retaliation, and misjudging how others feel about the situation. So, if you don't do something because you think that someone else will, are afraid that you might embarrass yourself (or someone else), suffer retaliation (violence, gossip, teasing, etc), think that someone else will probably do something or assume that no one else thinks it is a problem, then you are a typical bystander.
In fact, these concerns may not be real. In other words, your fellow group members may also be concerned, but are afraid to show it. They may respect and appreciate you if you do something. Like you, they may be waiting for someone else to do something. Actually, all of us need to take responsibility for doing something, and for supporting and appreciating others who do. The DVD and the book show ways to respond that are respectful, low-risk, and easy to learn.
It is also true that in some cases a negative reputation or image can be due to external factors. For instance, societal prejudices towards a particular group may lead others to misjudge them and stereotype them. It is therefore important to evaluate the basis for a negative reputation and realize that in some cases the explanation may be external. Yet, it is always good to look at ourselves objectively and analyze what, if anything, we are doing to create it.
Often we are told that we "hold the future in our hands." This may be literally true because by learning bystander RESPONSE ABILITY we can reduce problems that give a negative reputation to college students in general and to specific groups in particular.
In the words of a fellow student, "So what I hope for you is that you're part of the solution, that you no longer stand by and watch things happen, but you stand up and say what you believe in, because that's what it means to be a leader, that you’re a strong, confident person who can stand up for what you believe in."
I, too, hope that you will make an effort to increase your bystander "response ability" in whatever way you can: by seeing the RESPONSE ABILITY DVD, reading the book, or in other ways.
Thank you for the leadership that you provide.
NOTE: This post is a revision and expansion of an essay titled "Promoting Health and Reducing Harm in Our Chapters" that was published in the Fall 2005 issue of the Fraternal Risk Management Trust Newsletter.
Alan D. Berkowitz is internationally recognized as an expert in bystander behavior and as one of the founders of the field. His work was the inspiration for the RESPONSE ABILITY Project and has led to his receiving five national awards for his work and scholarship on sexual assault and drug prevention, social justice issues, and bystander behavior. Alan offers workshops and trainings on bystander intervention research, theory and skills. His work and articles can be viewed here.
